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Tears roll down my face, as I look at you and your girl friend
I see how happy you are together, smiling and laughing 
What a wonderful couple you make
I walk to my lonely room, turning on sad music
Picking up a razor
Without you I’m nothing, without you my life is meaningless
So I carve deep into my wrist, feeling every little piercing cut 
Screaming from the pain, and bleeding from the veins 
I lay back on my bed, watching the blood drain
Knowing you don’t feel any pain nor guilt for what you’ve done to me
Slowly, I pass away, with my last thoughts being of you
I know you will never know how much I love you
And just how much I miss you

Labels: my poems

I always expected more from you
than you were willing to give;
but now we've gone our separate ways
each with different lives to live.

but remember ,The bond will always be there
the friendship always intact;
But the time for us has come and gone
and the pages of time, you can't turn back.
         
I will always be a friend to you
and wonder how you are;
The smiles and laughter I will remember
and our fights have become painless scarce…...

Sometimes on those busy days
when you've a thousand things to do;
Please let me glide slowly into your mind
and spend some time with you.

In that quiet moment
when you're surprised to find me there;
Just remember even with the distance between us
I am still someone who cares 4 u the most………….

Labels: my poems

feeling the emptiness and cold
I'm grieving for always
the tears is cannot be dry
all this pain is suffer my self
you say you was love me
you say you care to me
you give me a smile but you tore it apart

there is nothing but silence now
tears and pain is belongs to me
i screaming calling you
but you don't hear it
you leave me alone
left a wounds on my heart

you pretend like nothing happened
you see me like a stranger
you kill me by your lies love

I'm standing in dark world 
the sun will not rise again
the birds will not singing again
cause they know,
they know i am here so broken heart

I was thought to suicide
but that will not make you love me
now i am not commit to suicide
but now i can't feel love again
cause my heart has been dead

Labels: my poems

We have known each other for the majority of our lives. We grew together, we learned together, we celebrated milestones together. I was the girl with the brown eyes, you were the boy with the big brown eyes, the eyes that looked upon me as if I was a goddess sent from above. Even as young children it was plain to see, you were besotted with me and even at that young age, I knew you loved me.

For so many years we continued on our paths separately, but there was always those moments. Moments when we were both single we would see each other, each time we met again, it was like we never were apart. For nearly a decade we continued this dance, it was hard to avoid each other or know what the other was doing, our families always talked. I always knew that if I called your number you would be there for me. Your number has never changed, it is burned into my memory, even a year could pass without a call but when I needed you, where ever I was, your number was always with me.


There wasn't anything you wouldn't do for me, you would always do anything to please me, to show me love, but never once did you tell me. Why did we never talk about how we really felt? Did you remember that last time before you left to continue your career when I whispered those three words you never said to me, "I love you." To this day I wonder if you ever heard those words. The words that if you had told me, maybe our life choices would have been different. I even lied to tell you that I had been pregnant with your child, years later, to see if you would say anything. You showed compassion and it was obvious you wished that I had kept the "baby". Will the world ever forgive me for making you think that I terminated our child, created with love, to try and make you see me, and tell me that you loved me?

Eventually I found a man who would tell me he loved me, in many ways he reminded me of you especially how he struggles to share his true feelings. But my man told me that he loved me, he asked me to be his wife, I decided to accept his proposal and started to plan my new life.

But a few short months before I would walk down the aisle, after years of being absent from my life, you reappeared into my life. You looked at me with those big brown eyes, my heart began to melt, I gave into my desires, just more time I said. It was the night to end all nights, the night to finally say goodbye.

You flew back into town to see me walk down the aisle. Even the videographer knew how you felt as I wed the man who asked to me marry me. As I look back at my wedding video there is a shot, of you, and only you watching me get married, those big brown eyes said it all. I can see in your eyes that you love me but you couldn't ever tell me. You never said a word when they asked if anyone objected, how could you and I knew you would never say a word, our love was unspoken, it always was.

Then you started your life, far away from me, finding a lady who loved you, a lady who wanted to be your wife, a lady proud to say that she loved you. She became your wife and I couldn't go to be there to see you marry her. I couldn't risk ruining your chance at happiness, I had cheated once with you, I knew we would make a bad choice, I lied to you again, I chose my career over seeing you marry.

Your wife always knew that there was something special between us, I always wonder what you have told her about us. I backed away but every now and then the phone would ring or a message appear on Facebook, it was erratic and often when you were away from home as you often were. I cherish the day that I attended a family function of yours whilst you were away and you called to say hello to your family. To hear your voice again, from so far away, it was comforting, as the wife of another I still do worry when you are in a war-zone, even if I can't admit it publicly.

When you came back to our home state, I would make sure I was busy and out of town. I knew when you were here, with your family that has grown to include your son. He looks so much like you, especially as a baby, the one thing I couldn't give you. My parents met your son, you were so proud, they told me how beautiful he is. I am so glad you have a family, I want you to be happy.

But then you call or text or hint that we could go back to the way we were. Are you not happy, do you really want to risk it all? You make me consider risking it all. There has been many a night when I have conjured up your memory of one those special nights. My insides grow wet I pleasure myself with images of you and how you touched me. Only you can touch me in the way that makes me weak at the knees, I try to remember as I find myself taken on that magical ride of bliss. But it is only a memory, a memory doesn't leave me, like your phone number, a memory is not cheating.

When we communicate there is often that inappropriate comment always coming from you. I normally can rebuff you and laugh about it but this time I wandered, this time I gave in. Was it that I was trying to show off, prove to your future sister in law that you really were in love with me. If only she knew how far I would go to see you again.

The things I have said, to get you to be here, the thought that both of us would go outside of our vows for just one moment of happiness. What will I do when you arrive in our home state, alone, the only way I knew you would agree. Will we break the rules just one more time? After 24 hours of sexting, my thoughts are all confused, can I really break the rules and continue with my life, and you return to yours as if nothing happened? Just adding another memory that may always be associated with deception and lies, especially to those we have vowed to remain true to?

Ironic it is a wedding that brings us back together, a wedding that may cause us both to break the sanctions of marriage for just one moment of pleasure. Part of me wishes you aren't released for leave so I never have to face my true feelings. But this time will be different, we are going to talk. I can't say it over the phone, or via a text, it has to be in person, so I can see what you are feeling in those big brown eyes.

We have never really let go of each other, that has become obvious to me. From your behavior and urgency to enjoy every minute you are away from your wife, it makes me think you have never let go of me either. But this time we have to decide, is it time to say goodbye or is it time to open up to the world about how we feel. So many lives will be shattered if we decide to proclaim to the world, but so many lives can be shattered if we continue to lie to those we claim to love.

Only time will tell, there is nothing I can do but wait. To see what those big brown eyes tell me, when I lay my feelings, what ever they may be on the table for you to respond. What ever the outcome a piece of my heart will always and forever belong to you.


---------------------------------------------
this story for someone too..i can't tell you who that person sorry..
law ade pape yang salah dlm cite nierh,,kasi taw yana taw? thanks ;]

Labels: my story

Assalamualaikum and Peace yaww !!
just read it..this make me cry actually

Labels: my story

Disclaimer: sadly, I do not own this song or TH. Just the plot.



No one knows how you feel, no one there you'd like to see.The day was dark and full of pain.


Deonna Duncan tried not to cry as she got on the bus after school and headed towards her grandparents' house. Her short brown hair blew in the fall wind. Her mom was going to jail, her dad was in a wheelchair, and she had to start a brand-new school.

You write help with your own blood, 'cause hope is all you've got, you open up your eyes, but nothing's changed.


She sat against the door in her small room containing only a bed and shabby dresser. She looked at the clock. 11:11 pm. She scrunched her eyes closed and wished for it all to be the way it was when she was younger. When she opened them, she almost fell apart at the sight of the same small room.

I don't want to cause you trouble, don't wanna stay to long. I just came here to say to you, turn around, I am here, If you want it's me you'll see.


The next day, she was sitting by herself on the bleachers in gym when a tall girl with wild red hair sat down next to her. "Are you okay?" She asked. Deonna nodded, knowing how unbelievable that was as tears slipped from the corners of her eyes. The tall girl leaned over and wiped the tears with her thumb. 'Don't cry, it'll be all right. I'm Zoe, by the way." "Deonna." She said. Zoe put her arm around Deonna's shoulder and told her, "Whatever's wrong, if you want to tell me or not, I'll be here for you."

Doesn't count, far or near, I can hold you when you reach for me.


Deonna wondered why she was still here, why didn't she just get it over with already. She had no friends, besides Zoe. She contemplated telling her, just to get it off her chest. Thursday, at p. e. She and Zoe sat on the top bleacher while everyone else played basketball and talked. She told her every thing, her mom's drugs, the beatings, and how her dad ended up in a wheelchair. All the while, Zoe just sat and listened, hugging her and wiping her tears when she began to cry.

Your life is meaningless, your diary full of trash. It's so hard to get along with empty hands. You're looking for the rainbow, but it died not long ago. It tried to shine just for you, until the end. I don't want to cause you trouble, I don't want to stay too long. I just came here to say to you, I am by your side, just for a little while.


They talked on the phone frequently at home, and all during p.e. and lunch. Zoe would hold her when she was upset, and neither of them cared, it was just something they did. They were like sisters. One day, Blake saw them hugging and rocking back and forth. "Well, look at that, they're loving on each other." he smirked to his friend Judah. 'Shut up and go away, dumbutt.' Zoe said angrily. "Why? Don't want me messing with your girlfriend?" She stood up. " I told you to go away." Zoe nearly shouted. "make me!" "GO!' she screamed as she pushed him down to the floor.

I f the world makes you confused, and your senses, you seem to lose. If the storm doesn't want to diffuse, and you just don't know what to do. Look around, I am here, doesn't count far or near. I am by your side, just for a little while. We'll make it if we try.

Labels: my story

Assalamualaikum and Peace yaww !!
haii! yana masuk contest ;] contest ni ditag oleh Addina Mukhalis :)
syarat2 dye simple jea ;]

• Followers mestilah tak lebih daripada 100 ( PRINT SCREEN KOTAK FOLLOWERS )
• Buat entry tentang contest ini ( TAG 3 ORANG ) ( AMEK BANNER CONTEST )
• Wajib follow blog nih untuk tahu perkembangan
• Tarikh tutup 10 August 2011
• perempuan sahaja

actually,follower yana tak sampai 5 pon..hihihi
tak caye??tengok sini


nak join??klik banner ^^
yana tag : 
liza
batrisyia
aqilah




Assalamualaikum and Peace yaww !!
ok,,yana dapat pass task ni ^^ yana langsung ta cakap bende buruk pasal myself whole day :)
so,,i pass it right??hahaha
yana just na kasi taw tuh je..so,,
kcaw! Assalamualaikum..




Assalamualaikum and Peace yaww !!
"How many times to I have to tell you! I don't like cream!" A man with blond hair and dazzling brown said barking at a girl with blue eyes and blue hair.
"Sorry." The girl with blue hair said.
"You say sorry a lot." The man said taking a large sip of coffee from the cup.
"You yell at me a lot." She said rolling her eyes.
"Don't be sarcastic with me." The man said.
The girl raised her eyebrows.
The man looked around the coffee shop that they were standing in and looked back at her with a sigh.
"You know I love you right?" he said, taking her face in his hands.
"Yeah, I know." She said, smartly, bluntly, with a quick pace, all the things that made it sound like she didn't really believe it.
The man sighed and sat down.
The girl still was standing.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Standing." She stated.
Things had started to break apart at the edges with them.
She wasn't sure how to handle it.
"Baby." He said holding out a chair, she remained standing.
"Love, Sit down." He said, this time forcefully.
"Automatic." The girl mumbled.
"What?"
"Automatic." The girl said again.
All the sudden she had a flame behind her eyes.
A flame behind those clear, blue eyes.
She reached down and shoved him.
At once he stood up, menacingly, looking her down.
The girl just shoved him in the chest,
"You're automatic, and your heart's like an engine!" She sang, the electro, almost ethereal music in perfect timing with her voice.
"I die with every beat, you're Automatic, and your voice is electric, why do I still believe?"
Why did she still believe?
What was it that kept her there?
"It's Automatic, every word in your letter, a lie that makes me bleed!" The girl sang, showing her arms, dried blood on her wrists.
Faint, slivery scars showing that went up her arm, under her shirt and inevitably to her heart.
"It's automatic, when you say things get better, but they never…"The man was looking at her in fury.
Everything in the coffee shop had stopped, Grinders had stopped, the smell of coffee and cream came to a halt, and even the group of boys chatting in the back in loud voices had stopped.
"THERES NO REAL LOVE IN YOU, THERES NO REAL LOVE IN YOU, THERES NO REAL LOVE IN YOU, WHY DO I KEEP LOVING YOU?" She yelled. Every ounce of her being held power.
The man stared at her, his eyes wide, and wondering.
"It's Automatic, counting cars on a crossroad." The girl pointed to the busy street outside.
"They come they come and go like you, it's Automatic.
Watching faces I don't know, Erase, the face, of you!"
"Look you little bitch!" The man started off.
She shoved him back into his chair, feeling more powerful then he ever felt over her.
"IT'S AUTOMATIC, SYSTEMATIC, SO TRAUMATIC, YOU'RE AUTOMATIC!
THERE'S NO REAL LOVE IN YOU! THERE'S NO REAL LOVE IN YOU!
THERE'S NO REAL LOVE IN YOU! WHY DO I KEEP LOVING YOU?"And as last time she sang the verse, she didn't wait for an answer from the dumbfounded man in front of her.
"AUTOMATIC AUTOMATIC AUTOMATIC AUTOMATIC!" she screamed.
"EACH STEP YOU MAKE, EACH BREATH YOU TAKE, YOUR HEAR,. YOUR SOUL. REMOTE-CONTROLLED. THIS LIFE, IS SO SICK, YOU'RE AUTOMATIC TO ME!" the girl let it all out.
Years and years of frustration and anger.
In the background a mans voice sang with hers.
(No love in you)(No love in you)She screamed, Her hair falling in front of her face.
Her palms rolled into fists.
"THERE'S NO LOVE IN YOU! THERE'S NO LOVE IN YOU!"
Sweat on her brow.
"WHY DO I KEEP LOVING YOU?"
"Because you need me." The man said cutting her off.
She slapped him hard across the face.
His face was full of shock as he raised his hands to his swollen cheek.
"THERE'S NO REAL"
(Automatic) The background man sang.
"Love in you!"
(Automatic)
"WHY DO I…"
(Automatic)
"KEEP LOVING YOU!"
The girl looked up at the sky. The wood beams of the ceiling wide and welcoming.
The smell of coffee thick in the air, she sighed, bringing a hand across her for – "Miss, are you all right?" a voice cut through.
The girl snapped out of it as she looked at the man before her.
He was a short, stalky man, with a strong face, kind clear green-grey eyes and long, silky brown hair that fell past his shoulders.
His wide, calloused hand that seemed protective almost was still on her elbow from when he was getting her attention.
"Are you all right?" He asked again.
The girl looked around, wondering where the man went.
"He left five minutes after you spaced out." The man nodded.
"Your boyfriend looked kinda ticked." He said.
"Oh, he's not my boyfriend!" the girl said quickly.
"Sure looked like it…" the man mumbled.
The girl over looked that bit.
"I like your hair, it reminds me of my friends hair when he was fifteen, he went through the spiky with the long bangs stage, I didn't see his left eye for ages." The man laughed.
She laughed with him.
"What are you thinking?" The man asked.
"I was considering my weird daydreams. Most of the time their like something out of Hairspray." She shook her head. "Or some Abba song…."
"Weird." The man said.
"Yeah…" the girl shook her head.
"I'm Georg." He said.
"Anna." She shook his hand smiling.

Labels: my story

Assalamualaikum and Peace yaww !!
ok..we go straight to the point :) i'm going to tell you the tasks that i have to do in 25 days ^^

Task/Day 1: Do not say anything bad about yourself all day.

Task/Day 2: Do not say anything bad about anyone else all day.

Task/Day 3: Look at yourself in the mirror. Don’t leave until you find five beautiful things. List them.

Task/Day 4: Listen to an uplifting sing each time you feel bad about yourself or think bad thoughts. Count the number of

times you have to do this.

Task/Day 5: Compliment yourself three times, each time you have a bad thought.

Task/Day 6: Show a part of your body that you are uncomfortable with.

Task/Day 7: Hug your friends and family.

Task/Day 8: Smile today. Remember, you’re beautiful inside and out.

Task/Day 9: Say “thank you” when someone says nice things to you. Say something nice back.

Task/Day 10: Don’t reject or downplay any thoughts or ideas you have. You’re not “stupid”.

Task/Day 11: Sing a song out loud to yourself, but not a sad song. The happiest song you can think of.

Task/Day 12: List five things you’re proud of.

Task/Day 13: List five “facts” about yourself. Ask two close friends to comment on all of your thoughts.

Task/Day 14: Think of three people you compare yourself to. STOP IT.

Task/Day 15: List ten good qualities about your personality.

Task/Day 16: Think of five bad things you’ve done, or big mistakes you’ve made. It’s time to forgive yourself.

Task/Day 17: Don’t say anything bad about yourself again. You do this too much, so you have to repeat this task.

Task/Day 18: Give every person you talk to a compliment.

Task/Day 19: Do things you love ALL day. DO NOT to anything you truly hate.

Task/Day 20: Praise yourself 10 times. List these praises. Don’t feel like you are bragging. You deserve this.

Task/Day 21: Think of five good things you’ve done. Remember THEM.

Task/Day 22: Look people in the eye. Why? You’ll learn more about them by seeing their faces.

Task/Day 23: Read an uplifting poem or book and think of it if you get down on yourself.

Task/Day 24: Let yourself experience the feelings you’ve always denied yourself.

Task/Day 25: Remember those good feelings and thoughts? Keep them. Forever.

ok clear? 
pray for me to be able to do all these tasks :))


kcaw! Assalamualaikum..

aku taw dye nyh tersangatlah hensem ♥ /mine!/

Assalamualaikum and Peace yaww !!
korang dah makan malam?? law dah,,ok..
tadi mase geo,,aku keliling 1 kelas aku ambik tande tangan dak2 kelas aku,,pastuh aku mintak r tande tangan Aliah..aliah pon tande tangan r,,kat bawah tande tangan dye tuh dye tulist NADG aka nur aliah diyana ghazali..pastuh dah habis waktu geo,,waktu sej..
and waktu tuh cikgu tak mengajar lagi..so aku pon mintak r tande tangan dak2 laki..and bile sampai plak giliran adam,,dye bace r name aliah tuh..disebabkan mate adam tuh juling,,dye nampak r NADA..yang sebenarnyean  NADG..& kat depan sekolah aku tuh ade kedai gunting..name kedai gunting tuh NADA..and pemilik dye name Nadarasan..korang taw2 jela..dah name pon nadarasan,,sah2 india..& adam pon pegi ejek si aliah tuh..
tetibe jea "PANGGG!!!!" aliah sepak muke adam ! dah la kat depan cikgu ! aku tengok aliah tuh cam WOIKOWDAHILANGAKALKE ! pastuh sume dak2 kelas aku ejek2 dye..cakap "BOOO!!!"
ish3..ape r kow nyh aliah..law nak lempang dye pon gak2 r..jangan r depan cikgu..tapi en,,aku rase memang patot pon dak2 laki kelas aku uh ejek dye..sebab dye uh gedik..nyampah aku..suke sangat kacau orang..termasuk aku jugak ! WOI!KOWPIKEKOWBESARKOwTAIKO??

kcaw!Assalamualaikum...




Assalamualaikum and Peace yaww !!
saya masuk contest anjuran kak una :)
nak join?? klik sini
hadiah dye best taw! rugi tak join..hee~~

saya tag :
liza
bat



Assalamualaikum and Peace yaww !!
yeah sekolah kenape nan sekolah sekolah ialah tempat yang paleng bosan * bagi aku dengan sekolah rumah hysteria tuh,,sape yang leyh tahan aku pon ta leyh tahan..rase cam nak mintak pindah sekolah jea s ! kan best law aku dapat pergi Paris *ecececeyh ~ nanti aku leyh pergi kat Eiffel Tower hahaha xD brangan jela :P
erm,,korang law sape yang pernah pegi Paris tuh,,tetibe terase nak pergi kali kedue,,jak la aku keyh blanje skali hahaha XD

kcaw! Assalamualaikum..

p/s : kan best law aku ade Doraemon.leyh suruh dye keluarkan pintu kemana sahaje..bukak2 je dah sampai kat depan Eiffel Tower

Assalamualaikum and Peace yaww !!
korang pe khabar? sehat?? hee~~
ok ok.. cite dye cam nierh,..
korang taw takk penoh aku punye inbox..dengan hi. how are you .. sial
acai pon kene gak..dye post kat wall dye

Eh sial lah , puih ! Penuh aku punya inbox . Hi. how are you . Sepak laju-2 180km baru tao !

yah ! sape ta bengang ! tak puas dengan IM ,, dye kasi massage plak.. siiaall!

kcaw ! Assalamualaikum..



Assalamualaikum and Peace yaww !!
tengok tajuk dah taw yang tuang punye belog tengah susah aty .. mane tak nyea ,, dah yana tak leyh letak lagu kat dalam belog nierh ..huhuhu u.u
kesian kat korang tak dapat denga lagu dari belog yana .. sory keyh ? tu r gune blogskins nierh pelek cket ! sume kene edit kat HTML code..yana bukan taw sanadnak maen nan code2 nierh~huhuhu
tape2..bia jela..biarlah belog yana tak cantik pun,,asal leyh lepaskan perasaan suda~~ hee~~~
k ah ! caw~ Assalamualaikum ..











peace !

Yo Gabba gabba everybadeh! Assalamualaikum..Nurlyana Izyan here :) 13 years old..just call me Lyana,Yana or Alienoid..Just an ordinary girl..But I don't think I'm an ordinary girl :\ whatever..I love to eat SpaghettI & yogurt ^^ my favorite drink is strawberry & coke like Tom ^^ very addicted with Paris ! In a relationship with Tom Kaulitz <3 I love blogging,reading,surfing internet,and facebooking :) *have facebooking in dictionary??* I will be successful scientist! my idol is Sir Isaac Newton ^^ and I want to study in University Of Cambridge!my dream is to go to the Eiffel Tower ^^ PARIS,,WAIT FOR ME ! wanna know more about me?? just read this blog ^^ *lyana baru practice nak type in english..if ade error,alert me ok?*

hee ya ! please don't type harsh words at here :) leave your name and your link ! anonymous will be ignored x]

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Liza Batrisyia the Alienoid friend friend friend friend friend friend friend

July 2011 \\

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